I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted.
Mercifully it's the end of the week, which at least means I don't need to think about work for a couple of days; nevertheless the household work and managing two increasingly-feral children goes on unabated.
What I really want is to take a nap, but there's dinner to be made, laundry to be done, dishes to be washed, and of course arguments with the children to be lost.
And there's just too much to deal with. The news is relentlessly terrible, my knee is painful from the PT exercises (and although it is getting better it is a slow and frustrating process), the children are completely out of control, the house is in shambles, and I am grieving for my grandmother.
When I was talking with the rabbi yesterday he reminded me to look for the good things that are happening in the world. This is probably good advice, but it is hard to follow when it feels like everything is falling apart. The other piece of advice he gave me was to take time out for myself to relax or meditate or things like that. This is also good advice, but it is almost laughably impossible. When we are not working, we are wrangling the children, dealing with housework or attempting (usually failing) to sleep.
I need a break. I will not get one anytime soon, but I need one.